Before I Go

I'm shaving my beard into a goatee, required for me to work as a server at IHOP. I'm a little nervous and a little excited. I hope it goes well.

I think God's been working on me with my anxiety (manifested sometimes as scrupulosity) and my self-love. Self-love starts with self-acceptance.

It has definitely helped to have people enter into my life who've accepted me as I am. Especially my girlfriend, who encourages me when I feel ashamed of how my life has been and how it is sometimes.

I'd go on and on about her. :D

So now I'm looking slightly dashing as I prepare for work. Wondering how it will go. Wondering where my life is heading. It looks like school. It sounds like music. God willing, maybe I'll have a companion along the way. But we'll see.

It was asked of me what my perfect vocation would be. This is what I put:

"I've hesitated on answering this question. Let's start with that which I think I'd love to do.

I'd love to meet and fall in love with a beautiful woman of God, get married, have children, and raise them in the Catholic faith. I'd love to write and perform music in the service of the Lord, music that leads people closer to Him. And then to use whatever surplus of money I acquire to assist the Church and any people or ministries that may require it...

Now, ideal and as amazing as that sounds, ultimately the perfect vocation is that which brings me closest to Him. A calling that best equips me to serve Him. So it may be as a brother or as a priest.

It's in God's hands. I will try to trust in Him, remembering that His will is always loving and always the best for us."

God is good. All the time. I'd like to end this with a scripture, inspired by Chapter 1 of The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren. I just started it and hope it leads me closer to God...

"For in him were created all things in heaven and on earth, the visible and the invisible, whether thrones or dominions or principalities or powers; all things were created through him and for him." (Col 1:16)